I’m a mess. I don’t want to write because I’m pretty sure this is a transient period and shall pass.
It sucks. Sometimes I’m fine. Mostly I’m a hot mess.
I’m better with other people around, but I’m avoiding everyone because I’m such a hot mess.
I have one week until what I hope is my last brain surgery ever, but that’s not even the case because I have radiation ahead of me, but whatever. I need stuff to cling to.
I know that all of the foreboding and horrid shit that fills my head is nothing to pay attention to.
I’m so glad I have the girls with me. I miss Disa so much I can hardly stand it. But if I somehow survive this next surgery, I’ll get to see her again.
I think the kids are coming. I hope so. Did I mention I’m a mess?