I keep catching a glance of myself in windows and such and seeing Jeremy instead of myself! Makes me laugh. When I’m walking around the farm, I forget what I look like, and then one of the guests will look at me with a bit of sadness and pity … I guess I look like I’ve been through the wringer, when in fact, I feel great! I’m almost guilty that I got off so easily. I’ve quickly left most of the FB groups for brain tumors, because so many people are still suffering so much and I just had a walk in the park.
I sometimes wonder why I am doing so well. Is it the path the surgeon took that made it so easy? Did all of my meditation and guided imagery around preparing for the surgery and healing after really make this much of a difference? I spent much of today turning down occupational and other sorts of post-surgery therapy. I really just don’t need it. I’m in fabulous condition and shape. I’m making myself take it easy, but feel guilty about doing it. I’ve actually never been the type to lay around at all.
So I’m wandering around contemplating the universe a lot. What do I want to do? How can I fit in? How many times should I take photos of beautiful tropical flowers? What do I want to grow? Where do I want to live? When will I be cleared to drive again? What can I do to earn money in the meantime to get my girls here? So many questions, and suddenly, all the time in the world to figure it out. What a luxury.