Seizures are so weird

I actually don’t remember anything after I got home yesterday. I changed the date on the entry just so I have a record of yet another fucking seizure. I really wish the ER doctor had told me that the seizure meds he prescribed wouldn’t be effective for 6 weeks, after I bump the dose up twice, after two weeks each time. That would have been really helpful information, and I would have worried much less that I was still having fucking seizures. Oh, well. At least now I know.

My entire right side is really weak today. My leg is dragging when I walk, my arm is much slower, even my hand when typing. I hope this clears up quickly.

My brain feels fried — seizures must be doing damage every time they happen. I feel like I reach for a word, and the spot where it was is now empty.

As much as I feel like I’ve been taking it really easy — we went to see a movie yesterday, for example — I guess I’ve got to take it much easier. So unlike me. I’m usually busy constantly.

It’s my fifth litter’s second birthday today, so I’m going to play with photos and squeal over my beautiful puppies today.

I miss my dogs so much!

Both of the kids said they are coming to visit the second week of July. Yay.

1 thought on “Seizures are so weird”

  1. I understand the catharsis of writing, and I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you taking me (and everyone else) along on your rollercoaster ride.

    I have been involved in preparing for a memorial for a friend who died last winter. She was an adopted member of the Blackfeet tribe and wanted all of her possessions given away in a traditional manner. About 150 of her closest friends (she was a one-of-a-kind amazing woman) took part this afternoon and evening in a potluck, remembrance, music and giveaway. She had spent years in the highlands of central America and Mexico and her collection of handwoven art and textiles was amazing. She also hunted every year for meat and tanned all the hides. I took an elk and a deer hide, soft as velvet. She was the local museum director for twenty years and put on a Sunday series every week during those years with amazing presenters. I first met her then, in the 1980s, and her husband and I worked on a local public television station together. She also started the farmers market 26 years ago that I am a board member of. I feel so blessed and amazed to have known her.

    Life is so darn short and we all must live it to the fullest. I speak from experience of having a heart attack and riding 50 miles in an ambulance to the hospital (Montana!). During that ride, I realized I was happy and that I had had a great and wonderful life, with much love. What more can any of us ask.

    Sending more love your way, and many happy and days full of light and dogs and chickens to come.


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