I’d been feeling odd for a while, but there were many people sick at work, so I thought I was just getting parts of the plague like everyone else was. For me, my head hurt and I felt car sick all the time.
I went down at work right at the start of lunch service, and taken to the emergency room in Branson. They found the tumor there in a cat scan, and sent me on to Springfield for an MRI.
It’s inoperable. Too embedded, attached to two arteries, not sure how fast it’s growing. Not a candidate for either radiation or chemo. Many, many opinions, all the same.
After much thinking and strategies galore, my awesome kids sent me to Hawaii to live in paradise with my best friend Lili on her farm. Poor Frank has been abandoned to dismantle the farm, all the critters, and move here as he can. It’s all very complex, especially getting the dogs here. I feel quite guilty about it.
I’ve not been here quite a month yet, and here I am, needing to write. I guess some things never change.
I don’t know who I will show this to. It’s not all going to be sweetness and light. I’m feeling bitter and angry sometimes. When I’m having a bad day, I’m in quite a bit of pain. I’ve started having seizures, and they are horrid.
I really am living in paradise, though, and feel so lucky to have the friends and family that I do. Frank, Jeremy and Valerie have been amazing, going for awards in generosity and support and make me feel so loved.
Lili, Scott and Megan have taken the handoff with such aplomb I can hardly describe it. I putter around in the garden, play with the parrots, cook when I want. I’m helping with their social media, something I enjoy doing. I’m writing for their blog, which reminded me that I enjoy writing.
So, here I am.