How I look


When I was driving to work, I wanted a photo of me with earrings. I never wear earrings! But I thought they were cute. Of course, you can’t see the earrings in the photos, and this is me taking a selfie — how does this thing work? What a difference between the start of the day and the end. Yikes. I like the dress, too. I’m starting to have fun playing with clothes. I’m totally convinced that the weight I lost is going to come back any second, but it’s nice to fit into cute clothes and I figure I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

Long day tomorrow, then long day of deliveries on Friday, then maybe off on Saturday.

Frank got my phone and it’s headed my way. Not having a phone is really hard. I use it for so many memory prompts. Project Fi needs to be able to ship to Hawaii direct. The signal and service is great here, but they won’t ship to Hawaii, jerks, so it has to get to me via Missouri.

Driving home tonight, feeling exhausted and with so much on my plate, worried about the dogs, I remembered the last time I felt this way, exhausted and overwhelmed, and it was three years ago when Frank was in jail. That’s his story to tell, but I can hardly believe it was only three years ago. I didn’t know I had a brain tumor yet, I just had a headache all the damn time. I thought it was from stress. I was working three 12 hour shifts in a row, then a half day, then off three and a half days, so my dogs had long periods of time with no one home just like now, and we all survived. I even had a litter of puppies after about a month of that, and at least I don’t have that now!

I knew then that our marriage was over because the first feeling I had at the time was relief — relief at not needing to take care of him, not needing to monitor his alcohol anymore, not worried about his temper. I felt like a burden had been lifted, and I only needed to just take care of everything else. I did it then, and I’m so much better off now and in such a better place, with far more support here than I had in Missouri. And no brain tumor!

After seeing that photo, it reminded me of this one, when I did that stupid selfie a day thing in 2007! I think I look just a little bit different now!

1:366 Here we go!

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