Have you read this article?
How not to say the wrong thing
It works in all kinds of crises — medical, legal, even existential. It’s the ‘Ring Theory’ of kvetching. The first rule is comfort in, dump out.
April 07, 2013| Susan Silk and Barry Goldman
If not, please do! I’m currently living this reality. I’m at the center of a storm, and I’m surrounded by people who love and care for me. They are the ones who need some support!
When everyone asks me what they can do to help, all I need is for Frank to get help moving he and the dogs here. He’s got to sell all the critters, find good homes for them all. He’s got to pack up and move. He’s got to jump through hoops to get the dogs here. It’s all going to take time and money and hard work, including physical labor.
My thoughts in creating this space for me to write is something like this, also from that same article:
Here are the rules. The person in the center ring can say anything she wants to anyone, anywhere. She can kvetch and complain and whine and moan and curse the heavens and say, “Life is unfair” and “Why me?” That’s the one payoff for being in the center ring.
Everyone else can say those things too, but only to people in larger rings.
I’ve always been an optimistic person. I’m hoping that doesn’t change too much while I deal with this.